I’m a wife, sister, aunt, godmother, friend and a mum amongst other things.
Most days my day starts at 4:30am (well that’s if the kids have been kind and slept through) and I'm usually in the office a little after 6am drinking my first coffee. I love coffee, it has simplified over the years, I just have it black, probably the need to make quicker and you can still drink it 2 hours later cold led to me drinking it this way. I inhale many cups each morning but never after 9am, by that time I’ve got the caffeine twitch and are well and truly awake.
I’ve worked for the same company for 16 years, my job is fairly demanding and my brain power is often exhausted by the end of the day. I check in during the day to see how Rod is coping with “Daddy Daycare” and get the good, bad, ugly and at times funny updates and procrastinate whether to go to gym or eat sushi (or the odd burger) during my lunch break.
On the train trip home I totally tune out social media, googling randomness or dreaming of a holiday, that usually consumes the 40min trip then I’m home and straight back into mum mode.
See I start early to finish early (great employer), otherwise I wouldn’t see the kiddos as much. Afternoons are playing, reading, baths, dinner all together as a family and the 4:30am wake up and day at work is a distant memory.
When Leo was born and surprised us with his T21 diagnosis I naively thought my life would be dramatically different. I didn’t realise at one year old that he would be “like a one year old”, he crawls frantically to the front when I arrive home, hugs, gives slobbery kisses and I can tell how much he misses me each day.
Leo and Emmy play together, sometimes nicely sometimes not, we sing nursery rhymes and practice everyday skills like using a spoon or drawing with crayons. Every afternoon is jammed packed with interaction and there often is no time to switch off. Don’t get me wrong I love spending time with my kids, but behind the “fun” is milestone goal or learning. All children need to be taught, so a lot of our activities are purpose structured play to ensure they both continue to learn.
At night I think (yes in other words 'overthink') about the future, are we doing enough? I wish I was with them more. I should have gone to the gym today. What school will they go to? Go to sleep you have to get up in a few hours. Why does Emmy not sleep through the night? Will Leo ever speak? I hope they don’t get any kiddy germs this week ... these are thoughts running through my mind nightly. No different to other parents I'm sure but nevertheless it doesn't make it any easier.
People often comment that my life “must be different” but as you can see I’m just a mum, my days are pretty much like any other mother and no I’m not glossing over it, we have extra medical appointments, physio, speech, OT but we also have swimming lessons, soccer and (oh no) soon ballet.
Being a mum to Leo has surprised me, he is a little sponge taking everything in, he has taught me to be patient, resilient, empathetic and to live not just on the routine train but to be spontaneous and enjoy every moment. Our life isn’t boring, harder or different it’s just our little journey, a journey thanks to Leo that has opened our eyes up, not take things for granted but realise you live life once ... so live it!
So Mumma's, stop overthinking and comparing should you find that you are, take a few moments to look at your kids and congratulate yourself!! We are all amazing and remember our journeys may differ but actually as mums we are more alike than different.
Happy Mothers Day!